Starting Over

Wow. So yeah, it's been awhile. In the past two years, I met and moved in with the man of my dreams. Life is good but I've gotten really lazy with my weight loss. I was less than 20 pounds from my goal, and since starting to date Chris, I've gained back 30 pounds. Constant back pain, aching knees, a closet full of clothes that don't fit...I don't want to go back. So, now we start over.

I went yesterday and transferred my gym membership to the one closer to my new home. I bought personal trainer sessions. I WILL get back on track. And hopefully my new motivation will help Chris get motivated too. Wish me luck!

Christmas Eve

One year ago, I weighed 278 pounds, had constant back and knee pain, and high blood pressure and sleep apnea. Today I weigh 189 pounds, no knee pain, very little back pain, my blood pressure is better as is my sleep apnea. I have a wonderful nephew, who is a year old, that I can crawl on the floor with and keep up with, which I never would have been able to do a year ago. I have another wonderful nephew, who came home from the Marines and wanted to know who was impersonating his Aunt LeeLee. And I have a beautiful niece who I can go all day and night with on band activities without having to sit and rest. I have made some wonderful friends this year, and fell in love with an amazing man. There were some struggles as well, but all in all, it's turned out to be a pretty great year. I have so much to be thankful for and I hope that you all do as well. Merry Christmas to all of you and may your 2010 be blessed.

8 months down

ONEDERLAND

Finally! I hit a big milestone today...I have lost a total of 80 pounds, which puts me under 200 pounds for the first time in longer than I can even remember. Woo hooo!!!! It's weird now though, because my identity has always been "fat chick" and now I'm not really that anymore...but not really one of the skinny girls yet either....so where do I fit in? I go out now and I get some attention...but I don't know what to do with it! Perhaps I need to learn to flirt! LOL!!!

Photo Update

One pretty cool side effect of losing 75 pounds is that I see pictures of myself and I don't hate them all! Here are a few recent ones...

Water under the bridge

Once again, it's been a rough couple of months. I think all the stress of the last 6 months has finally caved in on me, and I've started having anxiety attacks. I'm medicated, and seeing a therapist, so hopefully I can get that under control in a hurry. It's not fun, and very frustrating.

On the positive side, I'm 6 pounds away from Onederland! I bought a pair of jeans for my class reunion that are a size 16!! That's the size I wore in high school! I don't think I'll make my goal of Onederland before the reunion, since it's this weekend, but I'm sure gonna try! I'll be posting a picture in my new skinny outfit after the event!

Monthly progress thru June 2009

Before....2/12/09


March


April


May


June

I am still here!

Ok, so it's been a while. Life has a way of happening when you least expect it. In the last two months, I've lost my home to foreclosure, had a garage sale, moved to an apartment, and helped my best friend move to his new home, all while trying to maintain the bandster lifestyle. I will confess that I have not been entirely successful as far as eating the right foods all the time, but I've been trying really hard to maintain portion management. That doesn't always work either. But it's all about stringing more good day together than bad, and the numbers keep moving down, so I guess overall I'm doing ok.

I have lost a total of 63 pounds now, and I'm down at least 3 pant sizes. I am not sure of my true size, because I'm still wearing a lot of my old clothes. I just don't want to go buy a bunch of stuff that won't fit in a couple of months!

I will post monthly progress pics soon!

3rd Fill

I had my 3rd fill today. She didn't fill much, because I'm much closer to the green zone than I have been before, and it's Friday, so she didn't want to do too much and have me be uncomfortable all weekend. So I'm on liquids today...oh joy. Now I truly love Campbell's tomato soup, but one can only have so much of that before one wants to throw it out the window. I'll have some egg drop soup tonight, so that'll be a nice treat. That's kind of become my post-fill routine...tomato soup during the day, egg drop soup at night. Yummy, huh? Doesn't matter...it is all worth it when I see that number on the scale dropping.

I have lost another 8 pounds from my last fill, so that 8 in the last month. That number should actually be 10 or 11, but I have gained a few pounds back since I started going to the gym. It's all muscle though, so I'm not too worried about that. I expected to put on a few pounds as I build up muscle, but that will only help burn the fat, so it's all good. I can flex my biceps and actually see some definition now...that's fun! I did that for my niece and her eyes got big...what a boost to the old ego!

Well, I'm off for some delicious sugar free drink mix...Ocean Spray ruby red....tastes just like ruby red grapefruit juice, without all the sugar or acid. Yumm!!!

Sunday evening news

I officially now weigh less than I have since I was about 25 years old! I tried on a pair of jeans today that are 2 sizes smaller than the ones I have been wearing, although I still refuse to buy any clothes until I absolutely have to.

We took mom to Olive Garden for lunch today...and I managed to do ok there. Had salad, and lemon basil talapia. I can't believe I didn't even have one little bite of breadstick. Yay!!!!!

I've been going to the gym for a couple of weeks now...doing water aerobics 3 days a week. My doctor was excited but wants me to do weights on the off days. Ugh! I thought 3 days a week was good! So I have an appointment on Thursday with a trainer for a fitness profile and a game plan.

As of this morning, I'm 26.5 pounds down. Woo hoooo!!!

Happy Easter!

I made it! NO evil chocolate bunnies for me! Yay! I did have a piece of my mom's yummy pound cake, but man did I pay for it. I haven't had sweets in so long, and it sure did taste good, but I had horrible tummy cramps about 2 hours later. Better now, though. Whew!

It was great to spend the day with family, just hanging out and catching up, and not have to be totally miserable because I'd eaten so much that I was about to explode. Such a change, but a good one. Especially when I heard everyone else groaning about their aching tummies. :)

It's working!!

I think my band is finally working! I don't have a stop signal yet, but I can tell when I'm full, and it's after I eat about the right amount of food. I went to dinner tonight with the fam at Chili's, and ordered my most favorite mushroom swiss burger...without the bun. The waitress didn't even blink an eye. Of course, it helped that she was my cousin! I had about 10 chips with queso, and managed to get down about half the burger, and I was done. That was 2 hours ago, and I'm still full! I'm so excited...this is how it is supposed to work!

My scale is finally moving down too. As of this morning, I've lost 23 pounds since the surgery. I've had to retire some of my clothes, and I've even given a few things away!

Yay!!!!!!

2nd Fill

2nd fill was today. I got another 1.5cc so I'm up to about 4 cc now. I can actually tell a bit of difference, right now anyway. Hopefully this will be my turning point. I went to a lovely dinner last night with a bunch of old friends from high school. I ate more than I should have, and the 2nd margarita was probably a bad idea, but it was great fun. I'm back on liquids for a couple of days now, but I hope that will just help jumpstart me. I lost 4 pounds in the last 3 weeks, which I think this pathetic, but the PA at the weight loss center told me that it was exactly where I was supposed to be. So, I guess I'll go with that.

Update

Wow I didn't realize it had been so long since I've posted. Ok, so I had the fill...super easy. I can't tell that it made a lot of difference, except that I do notice that I don't get as hungry as quickly, but but that still isn't very long. I am trying to be careful about how much I eat, but it's not always easy...I got Chinese take out last night, and even though I didn't eat the rice, I ate way too much of the other stuff. But man was it good!

I finally got the pictures out of my camera and on to my computer, so I'll be posting pictures as I go now. We're basically taking them at one month intervals.

I go for another fill next Friday, and I'm hoping that this one makes more of a difference. I've lost a total of 20 pounds so far, but that just doesn't seem like very much to me, after 6 weeks. I guess I should be patient, but you ALL know that is not my strong point!

February 12, 2008 March 13, 2008

one day pre-op one month post-op

First fill

I get my first fill tomorrow. I am going back and forth between excited and nervous...excited because, well, it's my first fill. Nervous because I don't know what to expect. I'm sure it'll be fine, but it's the first one so I'm a little nervous. Hopefully I get a little restriction this time, and the hunger is better. I've been bouncing the same 2 pounds back and forth all week, and haven't lost anything new. It's frustrating, but they all say this is normal. So, I'll just be grateful for the 17 pounds in the first month, and go on.

I went to my first support group meeting last night. It was really interesting. We talked about portion control...what is the correct portion size. It is suprisingly small. Man, the restaurant business has really worked a number on our sense of what is the appropriate amount of food to eat. But there were people there who are in all stages of banding, and some who have lost a LOT of weight, so the motivation is there to keep up with them. Before the meeting, Margaret and I went for dinner to a place we used to go for lunch, and ordered the same dish we used to eat....one each....and we shared it, and had food left on the plate. And we were both totally satisfied. I look at that and think how did I ever eat all that before.

It was too cold to go out and walk today, so we went to the fitness room ,and did a mile on the bike, and then I did a quarter mile on the treadmill. I really pushed on the treadmill, and it felt really good. I'm guessing I need to step up my exercise...you know, get out and walk at night instead of sitting here in front of the computer. Now that it's light longer in the evening, perhaps I can do that. But not right now while it's cold and rainy. Yuck!

I did it!!!

I got into those jeans! I wore them to work, and stayed in them all day long (well, ok I didn't really have a choice there) but it was awesome! I was getting kind of uncomfortable towards the end of the day, and they came off as soon as I got home, but I got in them and wore them!!! The size 22 jeans hanging in the closet are my next target!!

Wednesday

I am sitting here on the couch, 9pm, and all I can think about is a snack. I'm not hungry...not even close...but I want to eat something just to be eating. Is that food addiction? For so much of my life food has been my best friend...it's where I went when I was bored, or sad, or lonely, or angry or upset...pretty much any emotion would make me eat for comfort. And now, even though I'm totally excited about the new life I have chosen, and grateful for the chance at a new life, I find myself sad because I can't eat when ever I want to. How lame is that? So I'm thinking seriously of seeing a counselor or someone to see if I can learn some tricks to break that cycle. I just hope my insurance will pay for it!

I saw the doctor on Monday. The official number is 15 pounds. I don't have to go back until between my 2nd and 3rd fills. I'm so ready to get that first fill and get started on that, but they won't do it until 4 weeks. So 10 days and counting...

2nd Week Down

Well , I made it thru the 2nd week relatively unscathed. I wish I'd taken measurments before I started this , but I didn't even think about it. I see the doctor tomorrow for my first post-op, so I'll have the "official" pounds lost then, and I'll be able to balance my scale against his, and see how far off they are. My appointment is at the end of the day so I can go right home and weigh again on my scale. By my scale, as of this morning, I'm down 14 pounds. This 2nd week has been so hard...I don't have much restriction in my band, and I've been hungry a lot. I am also having trouble finding the point where I'm full, before I get too full. It's hard when you're just having soup...hopefully that'll be better when I get on solid food again.

On a positive note, I had to buy a belt!!! It's a 2x belt, and it will only go to the very first hole, but I have a belt!! I'm in that awkward spot between sizes...the size I've been wearing is really too big, and the next size down is not quite comfortable yet. So...I wear a belt. I got one with lots and lots of holes, so I can wear it forever. I'm so excited! I probably haven't worn a belt in about 15 years.

I've also found a ton of friends from high school, who have come out of the woodwork on Facebook, who have been through either bypass or banding. They have been so supportive, as have my AOL friends. I can't begin to say how much I appreciate that!

Ok, I think that's all for now...I really need to go clean the kitchen. Ugh!

Not a great day

Ok so I'm feeling really discouraged. The first week I lost 11 pounds, and this week I only lost 2. I know part of it is because I am eating soft things and not necessarily what is "diet" food, but the first week I dropped so quickly and now I feel like I must be doing something wrong. I'm going back to mostly protein today, and leaving off some of the extras that we've been enjoying, and see if that will kickstart me.

This is a really bad trigger for me...stress/depression eating. I would just about kill for a taco right now, even though I don't really want it...I just want to eat something bad for me...aka comfort food. I'm going to need to find some healthy alternatives to the comfort food issue. And the weekend us coming up, which is always a bad time for me, especially if I don't have enough to do. Time for some more active hobbies I guess.

Week 1 Wrap Up

I lost a total of 11 pounds this week. I didn't think to take measurements before surgery, so I don't have a clue about inches. I can report, however, that my jeans are feeling very very loose, and I will likely be in that other pair next week. I've started walking some at work and will step that up this next week. I've been hungrier than I thought I would be, but then I'm just having liquids and "mushies", so I guess that's pretty normal. The swelling is almost gone, as is the soreness, and I would be a happy girl if the steri strips would fall off already!